


3 Times Alec Lightwood Met Magnus Bane and the 1 Time He Remembers

by TheFoolsKnight



Category: The Eldest Curses Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 3+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassin Alec Lightwood, Assassins & Hitmen, Brainwashing, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Elements, College Student Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Holocaust, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Relationship(s), Period Typical Bigotry, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-26 04:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20736476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFoolsKnight/pseuds/TheFoolsKnight
Summary: Alec Lightwood is the dark secret of Morning Star, a soldier who does all the dirty work for the the Morgensterns. He doesn't know who he is- all he knows is his job, and he's pretty good at that, and that’s all he needs for now.But then he meets Magnus Bane, a student doing his majors in history, and everything he knows about himself comes apart.





	3 Times Alec Lightwood Met Magnus Bane and the 1 Time He Remembers

0

Professor Fell dropped his books on the desk and gestured for everyone to sit down. Then he turned to he board and wrote a single word on it as he spoke.

"Today's topic-" he turned away, dusting his hands, and everyone could see the single word written in all capitals and underlined several times. NAZISM. "As you can see, is Nazism. I'm pretty sure all of you have some basic knowledge of this topic."

Of course they did. They were all doing majors in history, for God's sake. None of them would've gotten here without hearing of Nazism or the holocaust atleast once.

"And I'm going to start this lecture by recounting an anecdote told to me by my great aunt Marietta, who lived, during the holocaust, in a region not far from what we call Poland today." Professor Fell inspected the students - most were paying attention, some were jotting down notes, and very few were staring off into space, but the look on their faces wasn't boredom, just plain contemplation. "And in her neighbouring house lived two men married to each other."

Whispering broke out among the students, and Professor Fell looked annoyed. He looked even more so when one of the students raised their hand.

"Um, Professor?" he said. "We're learning about the holocaust. What does a _gay _couple have to do with any of this?"

He practically spat out the word _gay, _and Professor Fell's frown deepened.

"I am merely doing my job, which is to teach history," he answered. "I shall teach history as it happened. And if any of you have a problem with this-" he addressed the last part to the entire class, and gestured to the door. "Feel free to leave."

No one moved, and Professor Fell continued, "Now, for those don't know, the Nazis didn't just hunt down people of colour, they hunted down anyone whom they deemed unfit, _including _gay people. And these two men were no exception. One day, in the middle of the holocaust, one of them disappeared without a trace." Professor Fell clapped his hands together and inspected the class once again. Everyone was now listening with rapt attention. "And the other was found dead in his home a few days later, with a bullet in his head." A few gasps of surprise were heard, but the Professor paid no heed.

"Now, the reason why I'm telling you this story is because- Yes, Magnus?"

The students sitting in the first few rows turned around to admit Magnus Bane, who had his hand raised up in the air.

"What happened to the first man? Why was he missing? Did he ever turn up again?" Magnus asked.

Some student in the corner muttered something that sounded vaguely like "Of course he'd be interested in something like this."

Ragnor -for that was what Magnus called Professor Fell- smiled a cryptic smile at him. "Isn't it obvious? If you want to more about them, however, I suggest you meet my great aunt Marietta yourself."

And then, without further delay, he returned back to the lecture.

But Magnus wasn't satisfied. Something about that story rang a bell in him. As if he'd heard it, no, seen it before. As if he'd seen it all up and close, happening right in front of his eyes. Two men married during the holocaust... one disappearing... the other dying... the thought of it tickled his mind.

He wanted to know more.

1

Alec sipped his drink as casually as he could, his eyes darting around the bar, looking for his target. According to his mission file, the target was about six feet tall, with blonde hair and pale blue eyes, and frequented this place.

But the target was no where to be seen.

He would come, though. Eventually. And then Alec would kill him, and his bosses would be pleased with him, and they'd throw another file at him and have the whole process repeated again. That's just how it has been for the past few years.

Alec frowned. No, it was definitely a couple of weeks. That's all. He hasn't been around for even one year, having woken up only a couple of weeks ago from a cyrogenically frozen state. They didn't tell him anything about himself, only his name. They said that all he had to know was how to do his job.

Someone slid into the seat next to him. Alec flickered his eyes up to inspect the person, sipping his drink all the while. It was a man, who appeared to be of Asian descent, with brown skin and golden-green eyes. He appeared to be about as tall as Alec himself, his hair plastered back with some sort of gel, and Alec felt a vague pang of recognition at seeing him.

He was also looking straight at Alec.

"Hello, there," the man purred, tilting his head to one side and shooting Alec a charming smile. Alec didn't smile back.

"I'm Magnus Bane," the man said, upertubed by the fact that Alec was ignoring him. "And you are?"

Alec was on a mission. It would be highly dangerous if he obliged to give this stranger his name.

And yet... There was something about him that he couldn't place. Maybe he had something to do with Alec's past, before he was frozen and his memories stripped away, but was too high of an offshoot. 

"Alec," was all he said. Magnus seemed satisfied by it though, and his smile brightened.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alec," he said, holding out a hand. Alec stared at the hand, and then at him, his glass held forgotten in his own hand.

"What do you want?" Sometimes, you had to go for the direct approach. That's what Jace had told him when he coached Alec on how to interact with people, so that he could have some semblance of normality.

"Oh, I don't know," Magnus said, moving out his outstretched hand to place it on Alec's arm. His smile changed, then, turning into something else. "Maybe I just want to know you better."

Alec realized from his tone that he was talking in some sort of code, except he didn't know what that code was. Maybe he was sent by his bosses to help him out. He should confirm with them, just in case.

"Give me a moment," he said, leaving his glass on the counter and going a little distance away from the bar. He pulled out his phone and called Sebastian Morgenstern, who was usually the one in charge of Alec.

"What?!" Sebastian snapped when he picked up the call. He seemed to be very annoyed.

"There's this guy at the bar," Alec explained. "He seems to be talking in some sort of code. What am I supposed to do?"

"Fuck him!" Sebastian yelled. "I don't care!"

"Okay," Alec replied automatically. He knew what his boss meant, but he didn't understand why he would want Alec to do that. He was meant to obey his boss, though, so he didn't question it.

"Now don't bother me anymore!"

With that, Sebastian cut the call. Alec put his phone back inside his pocket and returned to the bar, where Magnus was still waiting.

Alec smiled at him, or at least he tried his best. Jace always told him that his smiles looked fake. Magnus didn't seem to care, though, or maybe he didn't notice, and smiled back.

"Shall we go outside?" Alec asked him, the smile still on his face.

Magnus looked surprised, but did not relent.

“Sure," he said, his smile now easy and graceful. They paid for their respective drinks, and went out together, Magnus looking expectantly at Alec.

Alec pulled him into an alleyway right next to the bar, shoving him up against a wall. Magnus gasped when Alec kissed him right on the mouth, but did not hesitate to kiss back. The kiss stirred something deep inside Alec, but he didn't dwell on it. He felt Magnus's hand thread through his hair, latching onto the black strands, their lips moving in sync against each other's. Alec put his hands on Magnus's waist, finding the waistband of his jeans. Kissing Magnus felt... nice, but Alec didn't want to spend much time on this. He had a mission to return to.

Alec's hands slid down to Magnus's thighs, hoisting his legs up and pressing his body against the wall. Magnus gasped again, and kissed him so hard it stirred up something inside him, tugging insistently at his heart. He pulled away from Magnus for a brief moment, looking at him - his head against the wall, his face flushed and eyes blown wide with lust.

Something shot through him like a lightning bolt then, a strong sense of Deja Vu that sent him recoiling away from Magnus. With no one to support him against the wall, Magnus fell to the ground, but all Alec could see was the brief image of someone against a wall, a gun held to his head. Except his eyes were filled with fear. _A memory._

Magnus was yelling at him from the ground, but Alec was trying to chase the memory in vain, only to have it slip from his fingers like sand. It _had_ been a memory, he was sure of that. It was a piece of his past, but try as much as he could, he couldn't remember it again. The sense of disappointment immediately filled Alec's veins.

"-_ insane_?! How could you just_ drop _me like that?!"

"Shut up!" Alec yelled back at him, and put his fingers to his temples, trying to remember. Nothing came up.

"Dammit," he muttered. Alec opened his eyes, which were screwed shut, and saw Magnus staring up at him strangely. He didn't really understand much of what had happened just now, but he clearly understood that dropping someone on the ground unceremoniously was wrong. He could almost hear Jace's voice in his head - _When you do something wrong..._

"Sorry," Alec said. Magnus's eyes widened. He clearly hadn't expected that. "It's just, I'm... I'm really new to all of this."

He sank down to the ground, and gestured between the two of them.

"I'm new to everything about people. I literally just woke up from some ice-induced coma a couple of weeks ago, and these people... They've been training me to do stuff that definitely doesn't involve any of this." He didn't look at Magnus while he spoke, his eyes trained on his boots instead. It was very dangerous, telling Magnus all of this, and yet there was something about the other boy that made Alec want to trust him, though he couldn't figure out what. They were, after all, strangers less than an hour ago. And Jace had told him to follow his gut, his instincts, so maybe this was the right thing to do. "It's practically my job now, hunting down people that they ask me to, and then killing them. It's more than a job, it's my life. Maybe I was like you, before they put me in the ice, maybe I wasn't. I don't know.” He looked up, letting his head rest against the wall behind him. "I want to know."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Magnus whispered. Alec looked up, and saw that Magnus was looking very overwhelmed. '_What the hell?!' _was written all over his face.

"I don't know," Alec admitted. "But something happened when we were... I remembered something." He screwed his eyebrows in concentration, trying to remember what he had seen. "But it's like trying to recollect a dream. I can't."

"Oh," Magnus said. He still looked overwhelmed, and Alec couldn't blame him for feeling that way. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, during which Magnus's face changed from overwhelm to thoughtfulness.

"How long have you been in this 'ice-induced coma' ?" he asked.

Alec shook his head. "I don't know. It could have been months or maybe even years."

"And these people, who are controlling you. Who are they?"

"The Morgensterns,” Alec blurted out without thinking about it, and realized he had said too much.

"A German name," Magnus muttered. He said, this time a little louder, "Alec, I think I can help you."

"No, you can't," Alec snapped. Magnus opened his mouth to protest but Alec cut him off immediately. "Stay out of this. This never happened."

And with that, he got up from the dingy alley floor and left.

1.5

He could remember.

He couldn't recollect everything, but he could_ remember._

Tears spilling down his face, Alec burst into Valentine Morgenstern's office, making his boss look up in surprise - but there was something else underneath that surprise, as if he had been expecting for this to happen.

"Where is he?!" Alec demanded. He couldn't remember that man's name or face, but he could remember the good-night kisses and the love in them, and that was more than enough. "My _husband. _Where is he? _What did you do to him_?!"

Alec practically yelled the last question, his hands slamming into the table in front of him. Before Valentine could even open his mouth, Alec felt a sharp pain in his back, and then he was falling through, back into the dark, back into that haze where he wouldn't remember _him._

They were going to make him forget again.

Sebastian stood over Alec's unconscious form, a tranquilizer gun in his hands. He clucked his tongue at the figure lying limp below.

"They weren't lying when they said he would get aggressive, huh?"

Valentine nodded slowly, his expression faraway. "No, they weren't."

2

It was evening in New York, the sun setting in the sky trailing hues of red and gold. Alec, on the other hand, was trailing his target through the twisting paths in Central Park.

This was his first ever mission, ever since those white-blond haired men woke him up from a coma. Apparently he was frozen in ice or something, putting him in a comatose state, but now he had to get back on his feet and start working for them. This was his life from now on - taking others'. He didn't know anything else about himself, but he was curious.

The target was walking a few feet ahead of him, talking on his phone. That's what they called the thin black boxes which they put near their ears. That's what Jace had told him. Jace had given him a class about how he could fit in better in the world. He seemed to be exasperated throughout the whole class, though Alec couldn't tell why.

The target waved his arms as he spoke in a manner that reminded Alec of a floppy octopus, and he looked away for a moment, long enough to notice the little group under a grove of trees a little away from the path. Some sat on the bench that had been placed there while a couple of them stood, one among them being a tall man wearing a large hat. The hat was probably unnecessary, but it actually fit in with the rest of his attire, which was bright as well. The man looked up then, his eyes meeting Alec's and widening, as if he had recognised Alec. Which was bad. Alec quickly looked away from him, realising his target had gotten ahead, and jogged lightly to catch up. The target was still talking on the phone, and Alec was getting bored of listening to his boring conversations about stock markets and what not.

“Excuse me!"

Alec almost froze, but strode on. That was definitely not for him. No, almost everybody simply ignored him, so there was no chance someone wanted to talk to him.

"Hey, you!"

The person placed a hand on Alec's shoulder and whirled him around, and now he was face to face with the tall man he had seen earlier. He was only slightly taller than Alec, who had to flick his eyes upward to meet the man's. His eyes were bright, a sort of golden green which like the straw hat was a contrast against his dark pallor and black hair.

"You're talking to me?" Alec asked. Maybe this man had gotten the wrong person. Hopefully, he would realise that soon and leave Alec alone.

"Yes, you," The man replied, his voice filled with annoyance. "You think you can leave me in the alleyway after dumping your life story on me and even literally dumping my ass on the ground and I won't have anything to say about it?"

Alec blinked, stunned. "I... What?"

The man simply stared at Alec with utter exasperation, until realisation dawned on his face.

"Oh," he said softly. "They erased your memories again."

"Again?!" Alec echoed incredulously. "What do you mean?"

A thousand questions flitted through Alec's mind. Who was this man? How did he know who Alec was? And most importantly...

"Did we know each other?" Alec asked, eager to know something, _anything, _about his past. "Before... what you said about my memories. Did you know me before that?"

"Not really," The man said, shrugging. Alec's own shoulders sagged in disappointment. "We just met once before, in a bar nearby. You told me some things about yourself."

"What did I tell you?"

"I think," he said in a low voice, his gaze level as he looked at Alec, "that everything you told me is what you already know about yourself right now."

"Oh." He couldn't help it as the soft sound left his mouth, and his shoulders slumped even further. At this point he didn't even care about his target. He just wanted to know about his past. Alec's eyes flickered downward as a thousand emotions build up inside his head, a mix of sorrow, disappointment and frustration.

"Hey." The man placed a hand on his shoulder and Alec looked up. His eyes were gentle too. "I offered to you on that day, but you left without saying anything. If you let me, I can help you remember your past. I have a few ideas.”

"I don't even know your name," Alec muttered. The man smiled, one hand going up to his hat, and tipped it towards Alec.

"Magnus Bane," he said, his eyes twinkling, and dropped an eyelid in a glittery wink. "At your service."

Alec's lips curved up, the smile coming seemingly out of nowhere. 

"Okay, Magnus," he said, the name coming naturally as if he had said it a thousand times before. "What did you mean when you said that they took my memories _again?"_

"Last time I met you," Magnus said carefully. "You said that you couldn't remember anything from before the coma. You also told me that you almost remembered something. Maybe you remembered what it was and they realised it and they just... took your memories away."

For a moment, Alec was so awash in horror that he couldn't speak. Just like that, any faith he had in his bosses, any sense of loyalty crashed to the ground like a fortress falling apart.

"They knew..." he whispered, his gaze slipping downwards. "They knew and they didn't tell me. They _know."_

Magnus placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say you're sorry." Filled with a sudden conviction, Alec looked into Magnus's eyes. "Can you really help me?"

Magnus nodded at him. "I'll do everything I can."

A sigh of relief escaped Alec's lips. He moved forward without even thinking about it and pulled Magnus into a hug. The world seemed to quieten down suddenly, everything zoning down to this, to Magnus. Alec felt Magnus's arms go around him, and something shifted in him - he suddenly felt as if he had done this before. A brief memory tickled his mind, something about soft light shining through a window and laughter and warmth.

He pulled away then, ignoring Magnus's gaze. He was looking at Alec as if trying to figure out some puzzle.

"Thank you," Alec said, and turned away from Magnus before he could say anything else.

Despite everything, he still had a target to trail.

2.5

Magnus stepped into the library, taking long, brisk steps as he walked up to the front desk.

He had answers for Alec, at last, but the truth was more shocking than he had imagined. He had no idea how to contact Alec, since they hadn't exchanged numbers, and most importantly, no idea how to process it all and hoped that this would help.

"Excuse me, where can I find books on the topic of rebirth?" He asked the librarian, throwing in a smile for good measure. They typed something in the computer and pointed upwards.

"Upstairs, third aisle on the left," they said. Magnus thanked them and went upstairs, footsteps muffled in the soft carpet layering the stairs and a hand on the wooden banister snaking along the staircase. He went to the aisle the librarian had specified and picked out a few books that looked like they could help. They were mostly about the topic of rebirth itself, whether it was real or just a crackpot theory.

Then his eyes fell on a book tucked away in one corner, looking all shiny and new as if no one had used it before, as if no one had had any reason to read it before. Magnus was drawn to the book and he pulled it out, revealing the cover page.

It read, _How To Remember Your Past Lives._

Magnus smiled and added the book to his pile. Yes, this book was exactly what he needed.

3

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Raphael grumbled, his voice slightly muffled by the ski mask he wore.

"Cheer up, Raphael," Magnus advised through his own ski mask. Raphael grumbled something unintelligible as they walked through the dark halls of _Morning Star, _the company owned by Valentine Morgenstern.

"We're about to bring down a multi-million company which you've always hated," Magnus suggested. "A company that possibly has dark secrets in its bag. Aren't you excited?"

"No," Raphael said promptly.

Magnus sighed and walked on, his feet as silent as possible against the cold tile floor. Raphael was walking to his left, a few paces behind him. Magnus spotted a door and was about to check it out when-

"Freeze," came a voice from behind him. "Hold up your hands and turn around slowly. Cooperate and I might spare you."

_Shit, _Magnus thought and did as told. Raphael was giving him a sideways glare. Magnus shot him an apologetic glance and turned to see who it was who had stopped them.  
Under the dim glare of the emergency lights stood Alec, a gun held in his hands. It was pointed right at them, his face void of any emotion. Magnus didn't doubt for a second that he couldn't kill either of them if he wanted to.

He felt a pang in his heart at the sight of Alec, and reached up to pull the ski mask off his face.

"Alexander, wait!" he said, hoping that saying Alec's name would make him hesitate. "It's me. We've met before. I said I'd help you, remember?"

Alec's eyes narrowed as he looked at Magnus. "I do. You're the man from the park. What are you doing here?"

"I found information," Magnus explained, his hands still up in the air. "And I had no way to contact you, so here I am."

Alec turned his skeptical gaze on Raphael. 

"He's just a friend," Magnus said quickly. "He's here to help me, that's all."

"Help you do what?"

Magnus bit his lip, wondering if he had to tell Alec about his plans, then gave in.

"This place is shadier than you think," he said at last. "I just want to expose these people to the world and get you out of here. You had a normal life once, you know. They took it all away from you."

Alec stared at him for a moment, then said, "I know."

Magnus's lips parted in shock, and he lowered his hands.

"I confronted Jace, after I met you in the park. He admitted that he knew about my past, but not all of it. He told me everything he did know." Alec's eyes flickered downwards. He fiddled with the gun in his hands, looking very young all of a sudden. Magnus's heart twisted in chest, seeing Alec, really seeing him for what he was. A young boy, pulled away from his life and forced to work for supremacists like Valentine.

"I was married once, you know," Alec said, his voice incredibly soft. Raphael had grown bored of the whole ordeal long ago and was now leaning against the wall, tapping away at his phone. "I had a husband. They took him away from me. I have no idea where he is now, or what they did to him." Alec looked up at him through his lashes, and Magnus wanted nothing more than to go to him and put his arms around Alec, for he knew what was coming next.

"Do you?" Alec asked with all the curiosity and anticipation of a six year old.

Magnus nodded, his throat dry. "I do. He's... He's dead."

Even in the terrible lighting, Magnus could see the terrible sorrow that filled Alec, starting in his crestfallen eyes, to the slight droop of his lips and shoulders, ending in the gun now hanging limp from his hands and the way he almost stumbled backwards, his body jerking away as if he had been whipped.

"How?" He whispered, his eyes wide.

"You were married in the 1930's, Alec," Magnus said. He wished he wasn't the one telling him all of this. Alec's eyes widened even more and he actually stumbled back this time.

"What did they do to me?" Alec's voice was filled with horror as he touched his face.

"I think it was the ice. Alexander," Magnus said reassuringly, taking a step closer to Alec. "We can take them down together. Me and Raphael can't do this alone. _Please."_

Alec was silent for a long time, staring at the ground.

"I wanted to kill them all when I found out. But Jace warned me not to. He said if I tried anything they'd just erase my memories again. I was so _angry," _Alec said at last, his voice wavering a bit. He looked up at Magnus, his eyes filled with a sudden determination. "Yes, I'll help you."

Magnus smiled, but Raphael spoke up before he could say anything.

"Now that you're done with all the chit-chat," he said, tucking away his phone, "Can we get back to the work we originally came here for?"

With Alec's help, they managed to get to the primary computer system in Valentine's office. Raphael plugged in his pen drive, doing his hacker thing and copying all of the data so that they could sort through it for incriminating evidences. Alec stood guard by the door the whole time, making sure no one was coming to disturb them.

The whole process took about fifteen minutes, and Raphael grabbed the pen drive, making sure to shut down the computer.

"Let's go," he told Magnus and walked past him, into the hallway outside. Magnus followed him, but Alec grabbed his elbow as he passed by.

"I want to know more," he said.

"I don't think I'm the right person to tell you," Magnus replied. "Do you have a phone?"

Alec nodded and pulled out his phone, handing it to Magnus. Magnus opened a note and typed in his address, then showed it to Alec. "Once the company falls, come to my place. I'll tell you where to find my source. She'll tell you everything you need to know."

Alec nodded and took his phone back. "Let me walk you out," he said.

As they walked side by side, Raphael a few paces behind them, Magnus's mind wandered to what he had learnt about Alec. The night he had talked to his source, he couldn't sleep, tossing and turning all night thinking of Alec - not just Alec's past, but also his own recent experiences with Alec, and how captivated he was by the other man.

"We're here," Alec said, stopping near a door and pulling it open. It appeared to open into an alleyway. Raphael pushed past the both of them, walking into the open night, but Magnus lingered behind a moment.

Maybe it was because he couldn't stop thinking about Alec since he'd first met him in that dingy club, or maybe it was because of what he knew about Alec, the secrets that made him feel closer to Alec than he actually was. Either way, Magnus reached out, taking hold of Alec's elbows and pulling him in for a kiss. For a moment Alec's lips were still against Magnus's, but then he kissed Magnus back with shattering enthusiasm, and Magnus thought, _Yes, this one, this one fits, after all the stumbling and searching around, and here it is._

Alec was the first to pull away, a faint blush stealing his cheeks, though he looked more confused than anything else.

"What was that for?" he asked.

Magnus only shook his head. Alec would know when he had to know. "Nothing."

3.5

A week passed since Magnus broke into _Morning Star_ along with Raphael, and five days since the company fell after the police received an anonymous package filled with incriminating documents against it. Valentine and Sebastian Morgenstern had been arrested, but Valentine's adoptive son, Jace, had no cases filed against him and was let go. He was presently in front of Magnus's house, sitting in his car, having come only to drop off Alec. Magnus had no idea where he was going or what he was going to do, and he didn't care.

"What are you going to do after you find out about your past?" Jace asked Alec, who simply shrugged. Magnus was leaning against the doorframe of his front door, listening to their conversation.

"I don't know," Alec said, and looked up, a soft smile gracing his features. His eyes were filled with a strange light. "Maybe I'll join my husband, wherever he is."

"Now that," Jace said, pointing to Alec's face, "is a real smile."

Alec's smile widened, his eyes snapping back to Jace. Jace returned the smile and turned back to the steering wheel, driving off. Alec didn't linger long and came up the driveway, to where Magnus stood.

"Now tell me," Alec enquired, putting a hand on his hip. He looked better than he had when Magnus saw him a week go, as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "Where can I find your source?"

+1

Magnus's source lived in a quiet little house on Upper East Side. Alec checked the address once more, just to make sure, then rang the doorbell.

As he waited, he looked out on the street, a slight crease between his eyebrows. He was about to find out about his past, about what he was when he was really _alive_, not just a killing machine.

The door was answered by an old woman who squinted at him through her reading glasses before recognition took her face and she said, "_Alec?"_

Alec only stared at her a few moments before he remembered a face -a young woman with long, brown curls and kind eyes- and a name to go with it.

"Marietta," he whispered. The woman smiled, delighted, pulled him in for a hug.

"Oh, it really is you," she said, her voice filled with awe. "Please, do come in."

They went inside, to the living area which was filled with cozy couches and a wooden coffee table. The walls were a homely ochre color. Alec sat down on one of the couches, while Marietta chose an armchair to his right.

"My, you look so young," she said, marvelling. "What's your secret?"

"Um," said Alec. "Ice, I think."

"I should ask my great nephew to get me some. He's wonderful young lad, you know. Works as a professor."

Alec politely nodded along to everything, not knowing how he was supposed to bring up the topic of his past. He now remembered that he knew Marietta back then, when she was still young, but he still couldn't recall anything else.

"What about you? Do you have a family?"

Alec shook his bowed head. "No."

"I don't blame you. After what happened to your husband..."

Alec's head shot up at that. "What happened?"

Marietta frowned at him, confused. Alec just stared back at her desperately. He swallowed his apprehension and said, "I don't remember _anything_, Marietta."

Marietta's face was a mix of shock and pity.

"Please," Alec pleaded. "You have to tell me."

"Oh, that I can do," she said, smiling a small smile. Her eyes crinkling, she spoke. "It was right in the middle of the war with those Nazis. Terrible times, they were. We used to be neighbours, you know. Pretty close, too. You were married to a young baker back then. Handsome young lad, he was. But.. oh, those terrible people." Marietta shook her head sadly. "I remember your house was empty for a few days. I had thought you'd left the country, but one day I saw that the lights were on in your house, and when I came to check I found your husband sobbing like he was broken. He said that they had taken you away." Her voice was filled with melancholy as she spoke, while Alec's heart lay heavy with dread. "He had a box with him, filled with all your belongings, and he asked me to take it for he couldn't bear to look at the things inside. I took it, hoping he would come back for it some day." They both knew what was coming next. "But he didn't. That night I heard a gunshot and the next morning, he was found dead."

The room was eerily silent for few moments after that. Alec had already known most of that, but it still hurt.

"What about me?" he asked quietly. "What was I?"

"You're Alec. Alexander Lightwood." Marietta smiled at him softly. "I remember you used to work in the army, but quit because no one listened to you when you predicted that the Nazis would try to infiltrate the country. You worked instead to keep atleast your family safe. I remember that you and your husband had saved up enough to escape the country, but you both gave it all to your sister and her husband, who was Jewish. I could never forget you and all that you did, Alexander."

Alec smiled at that, and Marietta smiled back, and then a sudden idea struck Alec.

"Do you.. do you still have that box?" He asked tentatively. "Which my husband gave to you?"

Marietta nodded and got up to fetch that box. Alec stared at the door through which she had gone, anticipating her return. It was coming back to Alec, now, but slowly - his sister, a beautiful woman with hair as black as midnight; her husband with his kind eyes and silly smiles. They both would've been hunted down back then, more than the others.

Now if only he could remember his own husband...

Marietta arrived with the box right then - it was wooden and small, completely plain except for the brass latch and hinges. Alec took it, and she smiled at him and said, "You know, I always wondered, why I didn't go soon after my Rupert did. But now I do."

Alec smiled back at her, a small polite smile. He got up and said his goodbyes to Marietta, promising to visit her again soon. They hugged once again, and then Alec departed.

He didn't go far. Having managed to find a small bench by the pavement, he sat down, the box in his lap. Curiosity overwhelmed him, and he opened the box.

It didn't contain much - there was a pocket watch with etchings of flames on its backside, a couple of medallions, the kind you earned in the army. Alec drew them aside and found a piece of folded paper. He drew it out, careful not to tear its delicate form, and slowly opened it.

It was a love letter, he could tell that much at least. Most of the words had faded away, but there were few words he could make out.

_Dear Alexander,_  
_Have I ever told you.... when I look into your eyes... the most beautiful thing... How I wish... a different world... But no matter... what they tell us... I could never stop... love you..._

He read through the legible words, tears pricking his eyes - his husband, his dearest husband, and they had taken him away from Alec.

He realized, a little too late, that he had forgotten to ask Marietta what his husband's name was. Alec glanced down, at the bottom of the paper and saw that it hadn't been signed. He tried not to feel too disappointed. He could visit her some other time and ask her about it.

He looked back into the box and saw, under the medallions, the edge of a black and white photo. Replacing the letter back into the box, he carefully pulled out the photo- and almost dropped it along with the box.

It was a picture of him with his husband.

Alec was smiling and leaning into his husband, who had an arm hooked around Alec's shoulders. He was-

Oh God.

Alec stared at the picture for a long time. It didn't make sense.

Because even though the photo was black and white and didn't show the vibrant colour of his eyes, even though his husband didn't wear colourful clothes or makeup, there was still no mistaking the face. The curve of his jawline, the jet-black hair, his smile.

It was Magnus, and unmistakably so.

How was it even possible?

But then a memory flashed out in front of his eyes, an image of Magnus looking at him and smiling, candlelight dancing on his face like the love in his eyes, love for his husband, _for Alec_.

Alec shoved the photograph back into the box with shaking hands, taking care not to damage it. Then he got up, tucked the box under his arm, and ran.

As he ran, the memories came running back to him, one by one.

"_I'm scared," Alec whispered into the darkness. He could feel Magnus's reassuring grip on his hand, his breath against his face as he whispered back,_

_"Me too."_

_Alec leaned in just that little bit, closing the gap between them._

Alec had never run so fast in his life. He felt as if his feet were flying above the asphalt.

_Alec held Magnus close to him, their body heat coming together to be the only thing stopping the two from freezing to death in the chamber. He didn't mind dying himself, but he looked at his husband, sleeping against his shoulder, and wished he could somehow get him out of this._

The walk here was short, but now it felt like a thousand miles. Alec ran through it all.

_They walked together, towards the gas chambers, their hands bound together in chains. Alec looked around him; there was one soldier to his left, one to Magnus's right, and none for several meters before or after._

_It was insane, but it could work._

_He shoved the soldier beside him and snatched his gun. Acting quickly, he shot both of them and grabbed Magnus._

_"Run!"_

Alec had to jump to the side to miss a car coming towards him. The car stopped and the driver leaned out of the window to yell at him but he was already gone.

_It didn't work. They were surrounded - on one side was a high chain-linked fence, on the other a group of soldiers. Magnus stood against the fence, and Alec stood between him and death. He wouldn't let them kill Magnus. He wouldn't._

_"We'll spare his life," one of them, clearly the head from the badge on his chest, offered. "On the condition that you work for us."_

_"No," Magnus whispered, and took Alec's hand. His grip was tight, and his voice pleading, "Alec, please, no, I'd rather die with you here than live without you. _Please_."_

_But all Alec could only think of was Magnus, that it would be better if he lived on, vibrant and making everyone's life a little better, than die here like this, as if he didn't matter._

_"Okay.”_

Alec's legs were beginning to cramp, and there was a stitch in his side, but he kept running.

_"Your first assignment," said the general, sliding the file towards him. Apparently he was to act like a hitman for the Nazis. Alec took the file, and threw it back on the table when he saw the person's name._

_"No," he said firmly, his heart clenched in horror._

_The general pressed his lips together. “Very well then. Guards, put him in the machine.”_

Alec could feel tears beginning to prick his eyes. His heart was aching for his husband, yearning for him, and he needed to get to the person closest to him - Magnus.

_The man's eyes had been full of fear, but now they looked at Alec with something else entirely. Alec_ _ pressed the gun against his head and didn't respond, not even when the man put his hand on Alec's face, the touch light but caressing._

_"Oh my Alec," he said, his voice so low it was close to a whisper. "What have they done to you?"_

_"Don't touch me, you filth," Alec snapped. Something flashed in the man's eyes, but he pulled away anyway._

_"It's okay," he whispered. "They're making you say these things, aren't they? I know this isn't you, Alexander, but..."_

_Alec didn't respond. The man closed his eyes._

_"I love you.”_

_Alec pulled the trigger._

Alec stumbled and fell, the box falling out of his grasp and skidding several feet. He slowly pulled himself to his feet, breathing hard, and retrieved the box. His eyes were full of tears, but he wouldn't dare let them fall. He was very close now. Alec quickly walked the rest of the way to Magnus's house, taking a moment to catch his breath before going inside.

The door was left unlocked. Alec could smell pancakes as soon as he entered, could hear Magnus humming in the kitchen. His heart twisted, and he went in the direction of the humming, leaving the box on the coffee table. Inside the kitchen, Magnus _was _making pancakes, dressed in a loose tank top and sweatpants. He was shimmying to some song playing through his headphones, and Alec had never felt happier to see him.

Magnus turned around when he came in and lowered his headphones. “Alec?”

_He turned away from the oven. There was a smear of soot on his face, but his eyes shone bright. “Alec?”_

Alec let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a sob, and moved towards Magnus. Magnus didn’t protest when Alec hugged him tightly, not even when he started sobbing into Magnus’s shoulder. Instead, he put his arms around Alec, one hand going to his hair and smoothing out the strands. Alec could remember now. He could remember everything, and this was exactly how it had felt hugging his Magnus, the exact same, and he still didn’t understand how.

”It was _you,” _Alec croaked, pulling away and cupping Magnus’s face in his hands. “It was you the whole time.”

Magnus nodded slowly. He didn’t look confused or anything like that - there was understanding plain and clear on his face.

”I know,” Magnus whispered. “I met Marietta, too. I saw the photos too.”

”But how? I- I- you _died.” _Alec choked out, unable to believe that he had been the cause of it. Fresh tears spilled from his eyes, only to be wiped away by Magnus’s careful hand.

”I know,” Magnus said. “But Alec, I.. I think that was all a past life. A different life. That was me, and this is me, but it’s two different lifetimes.”

Alec blinked, confused. Magnus moved to explain. “I know, it’s hard to believe. But I know it for sure, Alec. I’ve been reading some books, trying to understand it. I’ve even started remembering things.”

Alec sniffed. “What do you remember?”

Magnus smiled down gently at him. “I remember one day, you and I were in the kitchen, and we were dancing to some song we had made up ourselves.”

Alec began to smile. He remembered that day himself, remembered the afternoon sun shining in through the windows, remembered Magnus’s hand around his waist, guiding him through the dance.

Magnus’s smile slipped. ”I also remember the day I died.”

It was like something cracked inside Alec - he looked away from Magnus, ashamed and unable to meet his eyes. Hot tears pricked his eyes again, but he blinked them away.

”Alec,” Magnus said gently when Alec lowered his hands. “_Alexander.”_

Alec didn’t respond, not even when he felt Magnus’s hands on his face, tilting his head up and swiping a thumb across his cheekbones. “Hey, it’s _okay.”_

“It’s _not _okay,” Alec said, his breath catching on the words. “Magnus, I- I just wanted to protect you. I swear. But I- I hurt you. I _killed _you.” Alec was practically sobbing, and he still couldn’t meet Magnus’s eyes. “But you, you found me again. You _saved _me. How can I ever- What did I do to deserve you?”

Magnus pulled him closer, and Alec started sobbing again. He could feel Magnus’s lips brush against his forehead, and thought of the first time he had ever met him, in that park. The way he had introduced himself to Alec.

_”Magnus Bane, at your service,” The man said, tipping his chef’s hat towards Alec. Isabelle giggled beside him._

Right now, Magnus was silent, holding Alec as he let it all out, all the emotions he had been suppressing for over seventy years. They stood in the kitchen for a long time, Alec holding onto Magnus, his anchor, the only thing that mattered right now.

All was quiet. Alec held on.

It took a long time to calm Alec down, but Magnus didn’t mind. He himself preferred to have a good breakdown after a tough week, and could only imagine the kind of breakdown one would need after a tough seventy years.

Right now, it was well into the evening, and Alec was sitting on the couch, a blanket around his shoulders. He was watching TV, and appeared to be intrigued by the moving pictures, though Magnus could tell that his mind was faraway.

Magnus silently handed him a cup of tea - if you had no idea what someone liked to drink, then tea was your best bet - and sat down beside him on the couch. Alec leaned into him instinctively, and Magnus let him. He was still confused about what they were to each other right now, but he suspected he would know soon. He wanted to be sure of Alec.

What he had said to Alec was true, of course. He was starting to remember some things, but there was one specific memory that kept going through his head like a broken record. He had thought that being killed would be terrifying, but he could only recall an odd peace, a sense of gratitude that it was by his husband’s kind hands that he would go. Any sorrow he had felt was only for Alec. It was odd, what love could do.

“So,” Magnus said conversationally, breaking the silence that had crept into the house and remained there, “Do you still want to go and join your husband, wherever he is?”

Magnus was only joking, but Alec seemed to take it in a serious stride, chuckling and turning towards Magnus, putting a hand on his cheek.

”Oh, Magnus,” he said, “Why would I go there, when you’re right here?”

_”You should go with them,” Alec urged, the wind from the sea whipping his hair. “You’ll be safer there, in the states.”_

_”Oh, Alexander,” Magnus said, putting a hand on his husband’s cheek. “Why would I go there, when you’re right here?”_

_Alec smiled at him, a gentle sort of smile, and for a moment, everything was alright._


End file.
